Women's Circle: Own Your Yes. Own Your No. | Consent Starts in the Body | North London

Women's Circle: Own Your Yes. Own Your No. | Consent Starts in the Body takes place on 21 March 2027. Venue: N11, London.

You said yes. And it was not until hours later, maybe in the car, maybe lying awake at two in the morning, that you worked out you had not wanted to. That something in you had said no and you had already smiled, already agreed, already made it comfortable for everybody else. Most of us do not catch it in the moment. We catch it afterwards, in the resentment, in the tiredness, in the quiet fury we cannot quite explain. Because nobody ever taught us what a boundary feels like before we override it. What this morning is for Boundaries are not walls. They are not cold and they are not selfish. And they are not really about saying no. The first step is much earlier than that, and it is the one most of us skipped: noticing what you actually want. Lots of women stopped doing that a long time ago, after years of putting everybody else first. You cannot say a real no if you never found out there was one. So we start in the body, where it happens first. What actually happens A short piece of teaching, and then we stop talking about it. The Wheel of Consent, which is Betty Martin's framework, in twelve minutes. Four quadrants. Who something is actually for, and why that is the question that changes everything. No prior knowledge needed and none assumed. Then we find your yes, in your body. Lying down or seated, eyes closed. Bring one to mind and then find out where it is. Does it have a size. A shape. What does that place know. The questions are asked slowly and then left alone in the quiet. Then your no. And a word about that one, because it matters. In my experience the no brings up more for people than the yes does, sometimes a lot more. If that happens it is not a problem and it is not a sign anything has gone wrong. It is the work. Then we say them out loud. Standing, moving around the room, everyone at once so nobody is listening to anybody in particular. A no you wish you had said, in a small voice, then a flat one, then a louder one, with a hand if a hand wants to come. Then the same with a yes. This is the part women are most surprised by. One woman put it like this: "I felt really expansive. My arms were open wide. I was alive, I felt free and I was smiling. I could really feel that shift in my whole body." Then we ask each other for something. In pairs, sitting side by side, fully clothed. One woman asks, in these exact words: may I feel your hand? The other does not answer until she hears a real yes inside herself. And then the interesting part. The woman doing the touching does it for her own pleasure , not to give anybody a nice experience. Which turns out to be a completely different thing, and to tell you a great deal about which of those two you tend to do. If you would rather offer a forearm or a foot instead of a hand, you can. And "no, not today" is a complete answer here. It gets a thank you and nothing else, from me and from the room. That is the whole point of the morning. You do not need to be good at this The room will often have somebody who has never heard of any of it and somebody who has read the book twice. Both are fine. These are exercises you can do a hundred times and still get something new, so if it is familiar, you pick something you have not worked with before. And if you find that you cannot feel much, that is extremely common and it is not a verdict on you. The head answers instantly. The body takes its time. What this is, and what it is not Fully clothed throughout. This is one of the circles in the year that includes touch between women: hands and forearms, in pairs, near the end, always asked for and always your choice. Nothing sexual happens in this room. Some of what we do might stir something, and those are not the same thing. You can pause, rest, sit out or leave the room at any point, and you never have to explain why. Everything works from a chair. Practical details When: Sunday 21st March 2027, 11:00am to 1:30pm. Doors open 10:45. Where: A warm, private home in North London (N11). The address is in your booking confirmation, and I'll send you a reminder a day or two before. Please note it is a first-floor flat, one flight of stairs up, and there is no step-free access to this circle. Bring: Comfortable clothes. Herbal teas and water are available throughout. Group size: Small, often three or four women. Investment: Community £15 | Standard £20 | Supporter £25. Community pricing, so please choose the tier that reflects your situation. Questions: melanie@conscious-sexuality.co.uk or +44 7876 706910. About your facilitator Melanie Knight is a Certified Sexological Bodyworker and Somatic Sex Educator, trained in the Wheel of Consent. She runs small, unhurried circles where women can slow down and come back into their bodies, without pressure and without performance. Her approach is trauma-informed and consent-based. Next month Move Your Hips the Way You Want To , on Sunday 25 April. Finding where wanting sits in your body and letting it move you, starting smaller than you would think is worth doing. Not a dance class. Women's Circle 2027: A Year of Your Pleasure: Growing Into Your Desire One Sunday a month, 11:00am to 1:30pm in North London (N11), except June's evening outdoors. 24 Jan What Turns You On Now 21 Feb The Dress You Never Wear 21 Mar Own Your Yes. Own Your No. 25 Apr Move Your Hips the Way You Want To 23 May The Art of Anticipation 20 Jun Sensual in the Wild (evening, outdoors) 25 Jul Loud and Proud 22 Aug What Your Breasts Know 19 Sep Your Breasts, Your Pleasure 17 Oct Good Girls Don't 14 Nov The Map You Were Never Given 12 Dec The Body's Own Fire Book below.